Thursday, November 24, 2005

My 8th Thanksgiving.

Waking up in the middle of the night poses several problems. It's pretty lonely. No one else around you is awake at this hour. Those who are awake are usually in another time-zone, available only on the internet, more specifically, the MSN. Sometimes being active at this hour is a good thing - there is no distraction. I can lock myself down to that story I've working on or that geology lab I still need to complete. During holiday seasons, though, there is no such luxury of school deadlines. So I research my career opportunities. I spend two hours visiting web pages of companies I would like to work for, only to realize I am searching into the wrong industry. I create a Microsoft document, saving it as CoverLetter-inprogress.doc, then I move it into a folder marked, Professional. I'm probably going to forget about this folder soon.

Being awake on the early-morning of Thanksgiving in Massachusetts is tremendously lonely. As an internstional student having always lived in schools, I have spent Thanksgivings with middle school teachers and their families and high school friends and their families. Now I understand that staying on campus during the holiday is bad for the soul. This year I organized a Turkey Bus for students to get to and come back from Times Square, for $25/a piece. I collected tickets and saw 54 happy spirits off. I wanted to be leaving too as I sent away the bus. Instead, I walked back to the sculpture studio and felt a little bit sad.

Last Thanksgiving I was doing school work when Jesse picked up me on a super short notice and took me to his family's lodge in western Massachusetts. There were three cats there and they didn't create an allergy attack. The year before that, I'd flown to San Francisco and ate at the Stinking Rose. The year before that I went to New York City, pissed off my friend then bought her a bouquet of purple flowers.

This Thanksgiving I sit in my room and watch the first snow of the year. It's so sparkling. Unfortunately, there is no one to share it with, so I light up a cigarette, a companion at any time of need.